a week ago my friend Steve killed himself. that was a bit disappointing – he’s talked about suicide and tried to do it many times in his life, and had friends and family around to stop him, but this time noone saw it coming and he didn’t let on. so the funniest person i know, and one of the smartest, and the person who has taught me most about god in the last decade, won’t be telling me anything any more.

the funeral was great. old-school catholic, with incense and holy water. the priest opened with the beatitudes (which i translated in my head to the version we have on this site), and the last speaker, steve’s sister, finished with the serenity prayer, which steve would have said thousands of times over the last ten years, alone or in an AA meeting. and she asked us to do it the way they do – so we all stood up, and held hands, and repeated after her, “god give me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change…” it was a beautiful thing.

i’ll leave you with the most profound thing Steve ever said to me:

“if you go into your room, close the door, kneel on the floor and ask god to forgive you, well fuck me if it doesn’t work!“