The First Beatitude
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven…”
The Be-Attitude
Blessed are the shy and lonely, for they will find God in life’s dark corners.
The Anti-Be-Attitudes
Blessed are the go-getters, for they will get rich quickly…
Blessed are the pragmatists, they will get the job done…

The Second Beatitude
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
The Be-Attitude
Blessed are those with open wounds, for they will be healers.
The Anti-Be-Attitudes
Blessed are the sarcastic jokers, for they will be popular at parties…
Blessed are the goal-setters and positive thinkers, for they will succeed…

The Third Beatitude
“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth…”
The Be-Attitude
Blessed are the insane, for they will touch God.
The Anti-Be-Attitudes
Blessed are the economic rationalists, they will enjoy greater productivity…
Blessed are those who know how to exploit the legal system, for they will be respected…

The Fourth Beatitude
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”
The Be-Attitude
Blessed are the searchers, for they will find God’s path.
The Anti-Be-Attitudes
Blessed are those who tell the truth about the advantages of being disadvantaged, for they will be voted in…
Blessed are those who fight to keep the church pure, for they will obtain a moral majority…

The Fifth Beatitude
“Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.”
The Be-Attitude
Blessed are those who give ‘til it hurts, for they will receive.
The Anti-Be-Attitudes
Blessed are the muckrakers, they will find muck…
Blessed are the litigators, for they will commercialise the legal system…

The Sixth Beatitude
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”
The Be-Attitude
Blessed are those who have never cheated, for they will know implicit trust.
The Anti-Be-Attitudes
Blessed are those who are able to compromise, for they will walk the corridors of power…
Blessed are those who evade the taxman with a clear conscience, for they will be more highly motivated to make greater profits.

The Seventh Beatitude
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.”
The Be-Attitude
Blessed are the relationship builders, for they will be included in God’s family.
The Anti-Be-Attitudes
Blessed are the missile builders, for they will enjoy the balance of power.
Blessed are the developers, for they will inherit the earth.

The Eighth Beatitude
“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
The Be-Attitude
(Blessed are those who live sacrificially in order to work for justice in the world.)
The Anti-Be-Attitudes
Blessed are all you who aspire to bigger and better and go along with the whole production-consumption system of development, for you will be rewarded with security, a happy family, cable TV, holidays in Bali and the chance of winning Lotto. Unlike all those other poor bastards in the third world, you will be truly happy.

Geoff Hoyte