Letting Go of Old Hurts
One of the hardest things in life is to let go of old hurts. We often say, or at least think: “What you did to me and my family, my ancestors, or my friends I cannot forget or forgive. … One day you will have to pay for it.” Sometimes our memories are decades, even centuries, old and keep asking for revenge. Holding people’s faults against them often creates an impenetrable wall. But listen to Paul: “For anyone who is in Christ, there is a new creation: the old order is gone and a new being is there to see. It is all God’s work” (2 Corinthians 5:17-18). Indeed, we cannot let go of old hurts, but God can. Paul says: “God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not holding anyone’s fault against them” (2 Corinthians 5:19). It is God’s work, but we are God’s ministers, because the God who reconciled the world to God entrusted to us “the message of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:19). This message calls us to let go of old hurts in the Name of God. It is the message our world most needs to hear.
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Forgiving is easier said than actually accomplished.It is my personal experience that many times I have tried to ‘let go’ of a past memory,but it still rankles in my heart even after 20 years!However,there is an insight I got recently,which may be meaningful for some people.One reason why a few memories still rankle me could be that those incidents took place in a situation,where I was ‘cornered’.I was made to listen to an offensive view in someone else’s home,but I was not given a sufficient space to respond to those offensive words.In other words,I was in situations,where I was willing to be vulnerable,but the other person was not.and since the encounter took place in someone else’s home,I did not feel free to express my hurt.I realised that true equality exists when both parties take turns to listen sensitively to each other and there is total openness in communication.Both parties must be able to say,”I am feeling this at this particular time’with freedom.Maybe,if we commit ourselves to doing this,memories won’t rankle in our minds.